Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
And then he peed in my hair
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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