So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
