im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
