dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I looked at my own cervix.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
There's always time for handjobs
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
