Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
