If i come over, it means nothing
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
