i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
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