i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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