i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
