It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
