he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Randomize
