I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
It's rum buckets o'clock
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
