i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
