i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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