fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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