I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
