Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
