alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
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