did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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