I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
