Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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