he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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