it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
