At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
