me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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