i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
