i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
