Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
