I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
