Pappa wants mamma naked
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
