so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
