like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
