So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Michael Bay diarrhea
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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