Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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