Joe is yelling at the trees again.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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