I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
