First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
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