We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
