ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
operation have a gay friend backfired
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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