I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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