my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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