using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
