They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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