Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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