if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
