My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize
