I am in a vortex of obligation.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
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