I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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