he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
