Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
