Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
