He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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