Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
