dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
