...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
